Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be loaded with problems, cause despair, and other harms. In addition you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, finances, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married women.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I think mostly though it is just the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anybody else? You will need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest cluster, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your savings are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, usually the guy is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is disappeared, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown distantly, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair